Tag Archives: resolutions

Breaking Bad…Habits in 5 Steps

15 Dec Lifestyle Coaching
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As we wrap up one year, many people think about the universal re-set button that December 31st brings. This is the time when you then task yourself to make life altering changes for the next 365 days swearing on a blood oath that “this is the year” that you will complete your mission of change.
As you have either experienced or witnessed, this is not always the case for the majority of us.

So why does this happen?
Habits. Old habits are hard to break but I have news for you. It is indeed possible to break habits. I bet there are many habits during your lifetime that you have broken without remembering that it was any different than it is right now. Let us take a look at a few.

Crying at the top of your lungs every time you are hungry.
Biting your fingernails.

I would like to think that many of you have replaced (most of) these with more useful behaviours at this stage of life. Sure these things are fundamental, but at one point you weren’t capable of such things. How exactly did you break these habits?

You created new ones.

You created your new habits with determination, help and support, that’s how. From the moment you began your life on this earth, you had these qualities and life assets that you should have with you to this very day.

Take learning to walk for example. You saw people around you do it; you wanted what the world of walking could bring to you. You had help and encouragement from people that cared about you and wanted you to succeed as much as you did, perhaps even more. With many trials and errors and likely a few scares and bruises along the way, there was nothing that could stop you from learning how to walk.

This new habit, called walking, changed your life. Forever.

Imagine if you set yourself up for success the very same way in other aspects of your life? What would that look like to you?

First, you need to make sure new the habit or behavior you want to be or have, will forever change your life for the better. You need to imagine, see and feel what having this will do for your life.

Second, you need find support. Surround yourself with people who are really good at the doing what you want to do, and want to see you enjoy it the same way they are.

Third, don’t give up after the first try. Try and try again. It may be a little uncomfortable or even scary. Keep asking for and accepting the help from others that want you to succeed because they care about you. If people gave up after their first attempts, we would have no plane, trains or Viagra.

Fourth, keep at this new habit until it sticks. It should be so natural that it becomes such a part of you that you can do it successfully without even thinking.

Lastly, be there for someone else who is now where you once were. Imagine being a part of the cycle of learning, sharing and growing for something that takes little effort from you, but has a huge impact on someone else.

As the new year fast approaches, I encourage you to take that dream, habit and goal of yours once and for all and try approaching them this way. If not, find something you are excellent that is second nature to you and help someone else with their goal and dream of a new way of being, doing and living.
Start walking.


Ass-Kicked by Karma

31 Dec


A number of years back, installing my own personal rebellion against New Years’ Resolutions, I instead decided to go with a mantra for the year. I discovered my power of self-fulfilling prophecy and finally decided that I better start using my powers for good before I got my ass kicked by Karma.

My first mantra was “Just Say No.” I was making out with a lot of guys back then which wasn’t getting me anywhere so I thought I would be selective for a change.  It seemed that my selection process that year only improved slightly as I realized I was attracting a puzzling pattern of undependable and unreliable cads all named Mike (present company excluded)). So the following year, my obvious mantra was to ” Just say no…to Mikes”.

I started to notice something.

This mantra idea seemed to actually work and helped me improve my less-than-questionable decision-making abilities. What if I had a more positive mantra? What would happen then?

My new mantra was ” No regrets”. Every time I came to a moment where a particularly weighty decision had to be made, I asked myself the question, “will I regret doing this?” or ‘will I regret not doing this?” This one still stands as my most powerful and effective mantra to date.

After that, things really started to change in my life. I felt liberated as I became more confident in my life choices. I took some big chances that were all part and parcel of where I am today.

Somewhere along my journey, I started writing things down. Not consciously or deliberately, but at different times for different reasons I started writing down things that I wanted in my life. I never thought much of it as it was usually an activity driven by some sort of program or workshop I was in, but then sometimes well over a year or two later I would come across what I had written and they all had something in common. Everything I wrote down came true.

Seriously? Yes, seriously.

Even my list of what I wanted in a mate came true. I had several dozen qualities and traits on that list… I had “teeth” on that list three times, as it’s been a running joke with my friends for years…”I just want a man with teeth”. Would it surprise you if I told you that my “significant other” met every single item on that list, and that he is obsessed with his teeth? True story. The only thing I didn’t ask for was that special someone be in my own country, so now my desired mate lives over 3000 miles away. Well played Karma, well played. I can’t help but laugh with the old dame!

The power of the written word really hit home this summer when I came across some “work” I had done about five years ago in a program called the “Pursuit of Excellence”. One of our activities was to work on a relationship that we would like to improve, (actually was more like what we should improve, as at that point I did didn’t really like the idea) . Not having talked to my father for the better part of 20 years, I figured it was a good place to start. I wrote down what I would like the relationship to look like, not really believing it could happen, or not wanting to as I didn’t want to set my self up for yet another disappointing and painful attempt at mending this broken thread.

I wrote down unlikely things like, “become friends”, “create new memories” and something highly unlikely like “take a road trip together”.

I was stunned as I read this.

Two summers ago, my dad came to visit me and stayed for 7 weeks. He drove with my friend Sandy and I for twelve hours each way and so we could run a half marathon in Anchorage. I am not daddy’s little girl yet, but now communicate a few times a year, by phone, email and even Facebook. It’s a start. It’s a relationship that I never thought could be repaired.

Coincidence? I think not. It has happened far too many times for it to be so. Not only is there power in my spoken word, but written too? Holy crap. It’s time to write things down.

Something happens when we write things down, intended or not. Can you think of a time where you wrote something down a long time ago, and you come across it later and it has actually come true? What would happen if you actually wrote down what you want to have happen for yourself in your own life?

Are you going to write it down…or wait to get your ass-kicked my karma?

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