Tag Archives: inspiration

Death. The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

1 Feb

Death is a gift.I was 19 when my mom died of cancer. It was certainly my saddest day ever. I could say that it was my worst day, but it wasn’t. I wasn’t a mama’s girl (nor a daddy’s girl after the age of 4 but that’s another post), but she was my best friend.

Was her death my worst day…or was it hers?

She was the one who couldn’t see her children experience the life milestones of finishing high school, falling in love, getting married or starting families of their own.

She was the one who had to leave the love of her life behind to take care of his kids that he was too busy to spend time with.

She was the one that had to endure the pain and discomfort of cancer, radiation and chemotherapy for four years.

She was the one that didn’t get a chance to grow old and swap menopause stories with her sisters or brag about her kids to her brother.

She’s the one that didn’t get chance to live in the first house that my dad bought for them to live in, anticipating an empty nest.

Was her death was my worst day…or was it hers?

She got to see her daughter finish high school. She got to see her son excel in wrestling on a national level. She got to travel to Africa with her family. She lived a comfortable life with many caring and dear friends surrounding her. She had a loving caring husband who taught her kids uncouth habits like burping and stealth farting.

While she lived, she lived.

The best way for me to move on was to live my life using all the lessons, lectures and love that she shared with me during her lifetime. I really should have paid closer attention and learned how to make her Clap Roti, which to this day I have had none that can compare.

I also learned from her mistakes and weaknesses. Her lessons have become my lessons, and a catalyst for the lifestyle and joy filled path I have chosen.

For those who suffer, death is a gift to be free of the pain, be it physical or otherwise.

For the living, it’s a little harder, and takes some time for a number of us to take the good that can come from it.

What if she had lived? Would I have been as independent as I am now? Would I be as resourceful? Would we even be close, or would we have had a falling out because of my tense relationship with my father? Who knows.

All I know is that I was lucky to have her. Her grace, her poise, her gentleness are traits I can strive for, as she demonstrated that for me. That is her gift to me.

Thanks for living. Thanks for dying. Thanks for watching over me.

Thanks for your gifts.


Find Your Tribe

22 Nov

Big Bath of LoveWith growing a new business in health, wellness and coaching, often I have found my ideas quite daunting to implement. I think they’re great. Really? Who doesn’t think their own ideas rock until someone gives them the “look”? Without having the skill or tech know-how to grow or develop my ideas,  I have let that become my excuse and hold me back from implementing them.

Enter here an opportunity that I threw out to the universe that boomeranged back to me with a message.

Late last spring, I fell upon some information on an interesting personal development seminar called Awesomeness Fest hosted by a company called Mind Valley. It looked cool and right up my alley but digging further there was an application and selection process to cap the attendance. That stopped me a number of times from considering it further. Eventually I said to myself “what the hell” and threw my hat in the ring. My business is just getting off the ground, I am not successful or thriving yet, but I could really use some inspiration, and besides you never know!

Months passed until one day in late August I received an email about an interview for this Awesomeness Fest business. I had totally forgotten about it! Well I’ll be damned, they actually want to talk to me! I had a 1 in 5 chance. I made an appointment with the warm and lovely Kelsey and was still in a state of surprise when I finally realized that I made the cut. Wow. Now I really have to think about this!

With my finances being tight , and with some previously unplanned last-minute trips earlier in the year, I really couldn’t afford this one. I was second guessing myself and considered not going, the conference fee didn’t include the hotel or travel, which for me being from the nether regions of the globe, was a considerably expensive jaunt.

In true follow-the-signs-form, I received my travel bonus cheque from work in the mail a couple of days later. It would cover the cost of the conference fee…imagine that?  I don’t wait around to get slapped in the back of the head with any more signs from the cosmos so I make my arrangements and start counting down for this experience.

The next step was finding a room mate. Any way to save a few bucks was welcome, so I put some feelers out to my new friends-to-be. I found one, but that fell through just days before I left. I wasn’t worried though, at this juncture I was going no matter what. As a reward, another person, with the same nickname and now known compatible snoring ability, found me and I now have a big sister for life.

It couldn’t be more perfect.

Now the AwesomenessFest experience itself is a whole other story, with meeting some new, fabulous and inspiring beings that are now a part of my world. I went hoping to be inspired and to find some mentors and was open to anything else that could happen. Well guess what? I got all of that plus so much more that I cannot even begin to measure.

I have found my tribe. I am now plugged in to a movement of people, ideas and talents that I look forward to being infected by. I have found people that I can share my deepest fears and desires with, and they don’t tilt their heads sideways with feigned interest or glaze over when I share. I have found people that have followed their dreams and have allowed me to believe that I am destined to do more and follow my own.

My tribe has helping people and pushing humanity forward as their personal mission. They have brilliant ideas and ways of being to attract good things to them. They are my kind of people. Did I attract them, or did they attract me?

If you find yourself looking for motivation, support or a kick in the pants, what would it do for you if you could find your tribe? What would your tribe look like? What do you look like to your tribe?

Go find your tribe.

A Life Without Fear?

12 Apr

I did short workshop today at our regional career fair. I decided to be a little outside the box and do a talk about fear. I called it “Don’t Freak Out”. I was able to connect it to education, empowerment, confidence and all the other good things that suddenly become fantastic opportunities and experiences once you get your fears out of the way. I asked the participants what their life would look like if they didn’t have that fear.

Flying? Public speaking? Water? Big flocks of birds? (Hey, I’m not judging but stop watching that Alfred Hitchcock movie if it keeps freaking you out)!

What is your fear and what would your life look like if you didn’t have that heart pounding, sweaty palmed eye watering response every time your fear reared it’s ugly head?

Are you afraid of public speaking? Have you ever tried to picture yourself as a larger-than-life persona with the crowd hanging on your every word and eating out of your hand, you beaming with confidence and a swagger in your step, owning that audience?

Or, is water your nemesis? Can you picture yourself on a swanky yacht eating bonbons on a clear jewel blue sea, with the warmth of the sun on your cheeks. How would your life look if you could have that picture in your minds eye instead of the one that is causing you distress?

I totally own that one of my biggest fears is failure. The funny thing, is that I don’t recall actually ever failing anything…well perhaps second year biology, but I saw that one coming a mile away despite my best efforts. How can I miss what I’ve never really had? I love the saying, ” What would you do if you know you couldn’t fail?”

What would you do?

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