Tag Archives: hope

Death. The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

1 Feb

Death is a gift.I was 19 when my mom died of cancer. It was certainly my saddest day ever. I could say that it was my worst day, but it wasn’t. I wasn’t a mama’s girl (nor a daddy’s girl after the age of 4 but that’s another post), but she was my best friend.

Was her death my worst day…or was it hers?

She was the one who couldn’t see her children experience the life milestones of finishing high school, falling in love, getting married or starting families of their own.

She was the one who had to leave the love of her life behind to take care of his kids that he was too busy to spend time with.

She was the one that had to endure the pain and discomfort of cancer, radiation and chemotherapy for four years.

She was the one that didn’t get a chance to grow old and swap menopause stories with her sisters or brag about her kids to her brother.

She’s the one that didn’t get chance to live in the first house that my dad bought for them to live in, anticipating an empty nest.

Was her death was my worst day…or was it hers?

She got to see her daughter finish high school. She got to see her son excel in wrestling on a national level. She got to travel to Africa with her family. She lived a comfortable life with many caring and dear friends surrounding her. She had a loving caring husband who taught her kids uncouth habits like burping and stealth farting.

While she lived, she lived.

The best way for me to move on was to live my life using all the lessons, lectures and love that she shared with me during her lifetime. I really should have paid closer attention and learned how to make her Clap Roti, which to this day I have had none that can compare.

I also learned from her mistakes and weaknesses. Her lessons have become my lessons, and a catalyst for the lifestyle and joy filled path I have chosen.

For those who suffer, death is a gift to be free of the pain, be it physical or otherwise.

For the living, it’s a little harder, and takes some time for a number of us to take the good that can come from it.

What if she had lived? Would I have been as independent as I am now? Would I be as resourceful? Would we even be close, or would we have had a falling out because of my tense relationship with my father? Who knows.

All I know is that I was lucky to have her. Her grace, her poise, her gentleness are traits I can strive for, as she demonstrated that for me. That is her gift to me.

Thanks for living. Thanks for dying. Thanks for watching over me.

Thanks for your gifts.

I Hate Morning People

20 Mar

When exactly did I become a morning person anyway?Image

I personally think that one of the biggest barriers to motivation is getting up out of bed in the mornings.

It has taken me a few years, but I think that I can finally say that I am a morning person. I can say this because I have chosen to redefine what the loaded term “morning person” means to me.

My morning personality definition is thus:

A morning person doesn’t need to be perky and full of interminable sunshine.

They don’t need to speak to anyone before or even after their first coffee.

They don’t need to run 10 miles before the sun rises like in some of those blasted Folger’s, Viagra or tampon commercials on television.

To me, a morning person is someone who can get up before they have to or need to, to get things done or to do the things they want to do.

I’m a morning person because I meditate, perhaps do some writing or school work, read a few pages of a book, make breakfast, do the dishes, vacuum, prep for dinner perhaps even visit my treadmill. I can do all this before I head out to work in the morning. (Disclaimer! I am single so this likely will look quite different if I had kids, but I am sure for my sanity I would have to find some routine to function).

As a school aged kid, my mom battled dragging me out of my slumber to get me up in the morning to get ready for school. But get this, much to my parent’s chagrin, on Saturday mornings which was the only day they could sleep in, you can bet I was up early with zero assistance. Silly rabbit, everyone knows that Saturday mornings were synonymous with cartoons. Scooby Doo and Josie and the Pussy Cats were waiting for me. (There is no possible way that I could have ever dreamed the technology of the future included special channels that was dedicated to cartoons only 24/7). Anyway, it served my parents right for keeping the lone family TV in their bedroom. Strangely enough I never seemed to be able to duplicate that same enthusiasm when it came to get ready for church on Sundays.

Sound familiar?

What if you consider this instead. Everyone is a morning person, when they want to be.

If you have a long awaited vacation or trip of-a-lifetime planned, how hard is it to get out of bed then?

What if you are expecting a visit today from a lover, friend or favourite family member that you haven’t seen in an era, would it be as hard to get up? It’s more likely you would be too far excited to sleep so getting up early isn’t necessarily a problem on those days.

Do you see a pattern yet?

I’m a morning person because I have a good and desirable reason to get up in the morning. It has taken some time for me to put those pieces together, but these days my day and my life is full of things that I want to get out of bed for.

What is your day full of? Hope? Inspiration? Satisfaction? What gets you out of bed in the morning?

Wait. Let me add to that. What good thing makes you want to get out of bed in the morning?

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