Find Your Tribe

22 Nov

Big Bath of LoveWith growing a new business in health, wellness and coaching, often I have found my ideas quite daunting to implement. I think they’re great. Really? Who doesn’t think their own ideas rock until someone gives them the “look”? Without having the skill or tech know-how to grow or develop my ideas,  I have let that become my excuse and hold me back from implementing them.

Enter here an opportunity that I threw out to the universe that boomeranged back to me with a message.

Late last spring, I fell upon some information on an interesting personal development seminar called Awesomeness Fest hosted by a company called Mind Valley. It looked cool and right up my alley but digging further there was an application and selection process to cap the attendance. That stopped me a number of times from considering it further. Eventually I said to myself “what the hell” and threw my hat in the ring. My business is just getting off the ground, I am not successful or thriving yet, but I could really use some inspiration, and besides you never know!

Months passed until one day in late August I received an email about an interview for this Awesomeness Fest business. I had totally forgotten about it! Well I’ll be damned, they actually want to talk to me! I had a 1 in 5 chance. I made an appointment with the warm and lovely Kelsey and was still in a state of surprise when I finally realized that I made the cut. Wow. Now I really have to think about this!

With my finances being tight , and with some previously unplanned last-minute trips earlier in the year, I really couldn’t afford this one. I was second guessing myself and considered not going, the conference fee didn’t include the hotel or travel, which for me being from the nether regions of the globe, was a considerably expensive jaunt.

In true follow-the-signs-form, I received my travel bonus cheque from work in the mail a couple of days later. It would cover the cost of the conference fee…imagine that?  I don’t wait around to get slapped in the back of the head with any more signs from the cosmos so I make my arrangements and start counting down for this experience.

The next step was finding a room mate. Any way to save a few bucks was welcome, so I put some feelers out to my new friends-to-be. I found one, but that fell through just days before I left. I wasn’t worried though, at this juncture I was going no matter what. As a reward, another person, with the same nickname and now known compatible snoring ability, found me and I now have a big sister for life.

It couldn’t be more perfect.

Now the AwesomenessFest experience itself is a whole other story, with meeting some new, fabulous and inspiring beings that are now a part of my world. I went hoping to be inspired and to find some mentors and was open to anything else that could happen. Well guess what? I got all of that plus so much more that I cannot even begin to measure.

I have found my tribe. I am now plugged in to a movement of people, ideas and talents that I look forward to being infected by. I have found people that I can share my deepest fears and desires with, and they don’t tilt their heads sideways with feigned interest or glaze over when I share. I have found people that have followed their dreams and have allowed me to believe that I am destined to do more and follow my own.

My tribe has helping people and pushing humanity forward as their personal mission. They have brilliant ideas and ways of being to attract good things to them. They are my kind of people. Did I attract them, or did they attract me?

If you find yourself looking for motivation, support or a kick in the pants, what would it do for you if you could find your tribe? What would your tribe look like? What do you look like to your tribe?

Go find your tribe.

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Eating Crow…With A Side Of Bacon

18 Oct

Have I no shame, or am I just okay with not being right all the time? I have turned into one of those people who I used to laugh (which I know now is judging) at.

In my 20s I thought I knew it all, had the answers for everything, as many of us did, or still do.

In my thirties my confidence waned and nothing turned out that way that I had imagined. In fact turning 30 for me and others of my gender was a little traumatic even. Probably not unlike the male mid-life-crisis, but for chicks, you silly rabbit.

This is the time I started to understand that there was more to learn, and that not knowing it all or having all the answers didn’t mean I was stupid, it meant I was brave enough to be curious. Those people I used to mock searching for the meaning of life were now the ones I was watching for answers. Apparently they were curious too!

I look at my life and never in a million years could I have guessed that I…
• would be employed by a post-secondary institution – without a degree
• am ambitious with an entrepreneurial spirit
• would be unmarried and be okay with it
• own my own home
• sing and perform in a band in front of hundreds of people
• enjoy running enough to complete 4 half marathons
• could ever keep my mind still enough to meditate
• would ever enter the self-help section of a bookstore
• become a health nut
• could possibly enjoy brussel sprouts.

How or why did these cool unexpected things happen to me? I have always been adventurous and spontaneous and in my own words a “shallow thinker”. I never delved too deeply into the hows or whys of things. I pretty much traveled through life on instinct with a dash of common sense, which has proved to be a pretty great combo now that I look back on life.

I love that I was wrong about my life predictions. Despite all the dramas and ups and downs, they are all part of whom I am now and where I am today, which I think is pretty darn cool.

I continue to search and be curious. I continue to offer silent apologies and gratitude to those before me that I used to scoff at. I continue to be grateful for my past mistakes (which I know call learning opportunities) because I needed them to be where I am today.

Can you appreciate your past, the good the bad and the ugly? What would your life look like if you could be okay with how it has played out? What would it look like if you could move forward?
ravens claw
I stand corrected. I stand curious. I still stand. I will eat crow, but please make it tasty.

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The Scale of Friendship

20 Aug

scale

 

I decided to conduct an experiment this summer.

For the past three years I have been on the scale at least once every day, or every other day. There are many arguments about whether a scale is really a good tool for weight management.

“Just go by how you feel”, they say. Ignore the scale.

Well I did that for about six weeks and guess what? Fail. I gained weight.

It appears that the scale is indeed my faithful friend and accountability partner, whom I neglected to spend time with, and I suffered for it. Like any good relationship, communication is key.

The longer you wait to communicate less-than good news, the harder it is to gather courage to confront the issue at hand. If ignored, it becomes increasingly awkward as time goes on. It’s as awkward as fitting into my old clothes that were in the second hand store pile because they were too big.

The flip side is once that conversation is started, the invariable thought comes to mind, “I wish I would have done this earlier.” The lesson hopefully is learned.

I am currently trying to repair my lost relationship with my scale, who in hindsight, really helped keep me on track with my fitness progress. My scale wasn’t trying to judge me to make me feel bad about myself, it was there to help me achieve my goals, and acknowledge the accomplishments I have made thus far.

How often do we do that with people? If you are feeling judged by someone you care about, what are they really trying to tell you?  What if they are indeed trying to help you but can’t find the right words? What if they are like my scale; simply just reflecting back your information that you have shared?

The scale is my friend, and it talks to me. I just need to listen, and give it a little more attention. I’ll be back on track in a matter of time, with a greater appreciation of my friend, the scale.

Who are you lookin’ at?

8 Jul

How is it there are some people who have it all together? What do they have that I don’t?

What “all together” means to me, is success in health, wealth and lifestyle that I believe would suit my personality and needs just fine.

Well, I guess if I did what they did and watched and replicated their every move, then chances are I would be further ahead than I am now. Is that stalking?

Maybe stalk is a strong word. I would love to follow one of my inspirations for a time to see what they do to make things happen in their life.  Let’s take Richard for instance. You may know Richard as the entrepreneurial business magnate, Sir Richard Branson. It’s not because I have a weakness for red heads, but I do for charisma, street smarts and confidence, all of which he has  in ample supply. I don’t even believe Richard, or should I say Sir Richard, finished high school, and despite several businesses that failed during his early reign, he continues and prospers still over 320 companies later.

I at least finished high school. I have been told I have charisma. My street smarts shows at times and I have a healthy dose of self confidence. Yet, that is where our similarities seem to end.

What get’s him out of bed in the morning? I somehow doubt he spends time playing Bejeweled on his Ipad (or flat screen televison) in bed before he gets up to go to work, walking past his treadmill to get to the bathroom for his morning shower.

Perhaps I need to start there.

Think of who you admire. Is it for their looks? Physique? Family life? Business sense? Are you doing anything remotely similar in your life that mi

Image representing Richard Branson as depicted...

Image via CrunchBase

rrors theirs? Do you think that would make a difference in your outcomes, decisions and way of being?

Who are you looking at? Are they worthy of your time? Let’s try an experiment. Follow your idol on Twitter or other social media outlet for two weeks and see if you can get a glimpse of your “ideal” life, glean some life altering motivation or something else useful or inspiring. Thanks to technology, stalking is now called following.

Follow away!

The Price of Being Right

21 Jun

I, as many of us can acclaim, have had some pretty crappy hands dealt to me over my life span. I always knew that it was going to affect me somehow. How can something like that happen and it not affect me?

After a 4 year battle, my mother died of cancer when I was 19. Two two months later, my dad wanted to get married again to some woman he was hanging out with when my mother was languishing in the hospital on her death bed. I was less than impressed and promptly removed myself from his life before we ended up on a Jerry Springer episode. I vowed I would never let anyone hurt me like that again.

I kept my word. I dated people I couldn’t fall in love with so I couldn’t get hurt. It made it easier when the break up came, as I knew it would, because I was always right. “What? You’re breaking up with me? I knew you didn’t love me … I was right..again!”.

I’m now in my mid 30’s and I’m still right, and still single.  Coincidence? I’m starting to figure things out. I am tired of not liking myself in my skin and in my life. I start tuning in and paying attention to what I eat. I start feeling better, I start looking better. I start drawing positive attention…imagine that?

A couple of years into my fitness (and I use that term loosely) and healthy food journey, I noticed that my right shoulder was bothering me. I didn’t injure it, yet, I couldn’t lift it without pain. I heard that there was an underground Chiropractor in town that was really good. I found her information on the down low and made contact.

Now, to this day I am not sure what she is, or does, but she changed my life. This incredibly intuitive human managed to pinpoint the root of my problem. Emotional. Really? Whatever! But she nailed it. She said “you are in protective mode, your shoulders are tired for carrying this burden.” Her instructions were to go home and try to recall the last time the last time I felt safe. So being the obedient and complaint person I am I did just so. I sat there and thought about it, I  dug a little deeper.

Eureka! The last time I felt safe was the day I went to the hospital with my dad to see my  newborn baby brother. I was four years old. Man, that’s a long time to go without truly feeling safe.

Jesus. I wept.  I didn’t even cry like that when my mother died. After I finished sobbing, my body exhausted, drained and spent from the effort, my  perception was clearer. Hmm. Well I’ll be damned. It’s has been there all along. I was indeed affected by those life events the whole time. I just didn’t see it.

Remember all those times I was right? Well, I was right again.

So what was my price of being right?

  • Not talking to my father for 20 years;
  • Not being able to keep a romantic relationship;
  • Not being able to trust anyone, not even my own brother;
  • Not allowing myself to experience the joy of falling DSCN1897in love.

So what price have you paid for being right?

A Quickie With My Food Boyfriend

24 May

Do you enjoy a quickie, or do you enjoy a longer, more languid session that is memorable and makes you smile every time you think about it?

Am I talking about sex or am I talking about food? The pleasure of eating is often compared to sex. A scrumptious meal, or your favourite food likely hits those same pleasure zones and creates similar chemical reactions in the brain.

What if we treated eating the way we treated sex? What if you took the time to get to know and understand what you are eating, or where your food comes from to gain a better appreciation from it? We know when we spend time on foreplay, the payoff is more satisfying. Why should it be any different with food?

How about this perspective. Think about mercy or sympathy “dating” as it were. There are times where you are less fussy or selective with our choice of partner. The person of the moment isn’t your type, or normally isn’t what you would go for, and they are certainly not the “one”. They may not even be good for you, however, they seem to be nice enough and it’s just easier and convenient for the time being. Sound familiar? Sometimes you are selective and will hold out for someone really worthwhile, but sometimes we just need to get a fix so we don’t feel the desire to hold out.

Do you do the same with food? “Ahh, it’s not a great meal, but I’m hungry and it will do”. It has no real nutritional value, but it tastes good. Is every meal you eat a mind blowing toe curling experience? Why not?

How long would you put up with bad sex? How does the thought of less than satisfactory sex feel to you? How happy would you be?

How long or often do you put up with mediocre or bad food, or food that doesn’t nourish you?

Think about the most fulfilling relationship you have or have ever had and what a wonderful experience that was or still is. What would you look like if  you treated your relationship with food like a relationship with the love of your life? Your food boyfriend if he had a voice, would he be able to convince you that:

  • It’s good for you
  • It’s good to you
  • It’s satisfying
  • You can trust and depend on it to take care of you
  • It thrives with love and attention from you

Is it time to have the “talk” with your food boyfriend or food girlfriend to see where this relationship is going?

Who are you lookin’ at?

8 May

How is it there are some people who have it all together? What do they have that I don’t?

 

What “all together” means to me, is success in health, wealth and lifestyle that I believe would suit my personality and needs just fine.

 

Well, I guess if I did what they did and watched and replicated their every move, then chances are I would be further ahead than I am now. Is that stalking?

 

Maybe stalk is a strong word. I would love to follow one of my inspirations for a time to see what they do to make things happen in their life.  Let’s take Richard for instance. You may know Richard as the entrepreneurial business magnate, Sir Richard Branson. It’s not because I have a weakness for red heads, but I do for charisma, street smarts and confidence, all of which he has  in ample supply. I don’t even believe Richard, or should I say Sir Richard, finished high school, and despite several businesses that failed during his early reign, he continues and prospers still over 320 companies later.

 

I at least finished high school. I have been told I have charisma. My street smarts shows at times and I have a healthy dose of self confidence. Yet, that is where our similarities seem to end.

 

What get’s him out of bed in the morning? I somehow doubt he spends time playing Bejeweled on his Ipad (or flat screen televison) in bed before he gets up to go to work, walking past his treadmill to get to the bathroom for his morning shower.

 

Perhaps I need to start there.

 

Image representing Richard Branson as depicted...

Image via CrunchBase

Think of who you admire. Is it for their looks? Physique? Family life? Business sense? Are you doing anything remotely similar in your life that mirrors theirs? Do you think that would make a difference in your outcomes, decisions and way of being?

 

Who are you looking at? Are they worthy of your time? Let’s try an experiment. Follow your idol on Twitter or other social media outlet for two weeks and see if you can get a glimpse of your “ideal” life, glean some life altering motivation or something else useful or inspiring. Thanks to technology, stalking is now called “following”.

Follow away!

 

 

 

 

All or Nothing

2 May

Over the years I have had to learn to temper my all or nothing way of thinking and rather intense personality. Sure there are times that I was super motivated, but it was usually because I felt that I had something to prove to someone else. One summer I lost 30 pounds when I got dumped by my long time boyfriend. (He broke up with me and got married two weeks later to a classmate he met after I told him to go out and make some friends). I was in the best shape of my life…physically. I even had a six-pack, for the first and only time in my life…abs!

My head space was a different story. I worked out like a fiend, for all the wrong reasons. It wasn’t about bring healthy. I actually lost my appetite, but continued to push myself physically, beyond exhaustion some times. Is it a surprise that I wasn’t able to maintain a six-pack and over the years gained over 50 pounds that I am still trying to shed over 20 years later?

It took me almost two decades to cut myself some slack, about not doing things I believed that I “should” do, or “needed” to do. For what or who do I need to do these things for anyway?  What would happen if I simply didn’t want to do it? The world didn’t end, and people didn’t hate me for it. As a matter of fact, no one even noticed or batted an eye during my self-imposed rebellion.

I finally started to get to know myself better. I became more open to try different and out-of-my-comfort-zone things, from massages, to chiropractic care, to yoga. These little openings lead to some fantastic experiences, some great, some disastrous, but all fantastic outcomes nevertheless.  I finally became curious about things, and didn’t care as much about what other people thought. What they thought about me didn’t change who I was inside, or make me a bad person.

What would you do for yourself if nobody cared, commented or noticed what you did? What makes you think they do now? What if you went ahead and did it anyway?

How liberating would that feel for you? Can you remember when you last felt or do you even know what it feels like to be liberated?

You. Liberated. How does that look on you?

A Life Without Fear?

12 Apr

I did short workshop today at our regional career fair. I decided to be a little outside the box and do a talk about fear. I called it “Don’t Freak Out”. I was able to connect it to education, empowerment, confidence and all the other good things that suddenly become fantastic opportunities and experiences once you get your fears out of the way. I asked the participants what their life would look like if they didn’t have that fear.

Flying? Public speaking? Water? Big flocks of birds? (Hey, I’m not judging but stop watching that Alfred Hitchcock movie if it keeps freaking you out)!

What is your fear and what would your life look like if you didn’t have that heart pounding, sweaty palmed eye watering response every time your fear reared it’s ugly head?

Are you afraid of public speaking? Have you ever tried to picture yourself as a larger-than-life persona with the crowd hanging on your every word and eating out of your hand, you beaming with confidence and a swagger in your step, owning that audience?

Or, is water your nemesis? Can you picture yourself on a swanky yacht eating bonbons on a clear jewel blue sea, with the warmth of the sun on your cheeks. How would your life look if you could have that picture in your minds eye instead of the one that is causing you distress?

I totally own that one of my biggest fears is failure. The funny thing, is that I don’t recall actually ever failing anything…well perhaps second year biology, but I saw that one coming a mile away despite my best efforts. How can I miss what I’ve never really had? I love the saying, ” What would you do if you know you couldn’t fail?”

What would you do?

Got to start somewhere

27 Mar

Well, this is it. The beginning of beginnings. Welcome to my blog on motivation… self motivation that is. I am always making deals with myself to get things done. That I NEED to get done. Sometimes I am motivated, some times I am not. I am always looking for ways to help myself grow to able to get things done that will help me achieve my dreams.

I cannot be the only one.

Whether its your health, your love life or your future, whatever you want that you need a kick in the pants for, I will do my best and promise to share what I have learned from myself, from others, what has worked and what hasn’t worked. If you promise to do the same, I think that we will make beautiful motivational babies together.

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